Luie Journal
In Luie journal you get to meet people that inspire us from the everyday life.
Ebba
28 years
Birth photographer and doula
Stockholm
Share this article
Have you ever wondered what it’s like witnessing a woman giving birth? Ebba Barkenbom knows all about it. She is both a doula and a birth photographer. We got to ask her a few questions about her life and what it’s like being in the birth room.
What does a day look like in your household?
– Right now, a day looks like we all three have breakfast together. Then we go to preschool and work. I have just recently started working after 2.5 years at home, which was a time I loved, but now we have a new everyday life with a little more routines. It feels better than expected. I long until the afternoons and the pick-up from preschool, and to have quality time together at home in the evenings, while I think that the days at work are fun and rewarding! In the evenings we usually either meet some friends or stay at home and cook and play. It is both my and Oscar’s favourite moment to sit and listen to Ingrid’s little thoughts around the kitchen table in the evenings.
You are a birth photographer and doula. Why did you become one and, what is the best thing about it?
– I started photographing births after giving birth myself. I then discovered what an incredible and powerful experience it is to give birth to a child. I also felt that it was the biggest achievement of my life in every way. And I thought: if this is what you get to experience in the room when a child is born, all the emotions, all the big things that happen, it has to be captured. A birth is private and intimate. And I think it should be. But it is also one of the biggest things in life. And it’s worth highlighting how amazing all women are, both those who give birth but also the midwives for the work they do.
– I decided to become a Doula after photographing many births and always felt that I wanted to do more once I was in the room. I have seen couples and women give birth who may have wanted and needed more support and help. A hand to hold. Security and encouragement. A little more preparation and better conditions, which I believe and know today, make such a big difference when giving birth.
What is it like to be involved in such intimate situations?
– It’s a privilege. It is always such a special moment. You get to be a part of something so big. Time stands still when a child is born and, the happiness, relief, love and joy that arises when the baby comes is unbeatable. It can not be explained and can hardly be photographed, but I try my best.
Do you have a moment that is the absolute coolest thing you have experienced in the delivery room? (Except maybe when you gave birth yourself).
– Except when I gave birth and got Ingrid on my chest, which was the biggest moment of my life, it’s hard to say a specific event. I can think back on every single birth and get warm in the heart of all the memories and everything I have been able to experience. What is so incredibly cool to see and follow every time is how the woman fights, the emotions go up and down, the couple goes through so many emotions together and finally often after a long time of fighting, tears and pain, then finally comes the moment when the baby comes out. A relief, joy and calm appear in the room. You can almost touch that feeling because it is so strong.
Do you have something you want to say to women who are going to give birth?
– Prepare yourself the way you can by reading books, taking a prophylaxis course, listening to podcasts with people who have the knowledge and experience of having children. Trust yourself and your body, but also do what you can to give yourself the best conditions. I believe that knowledge gives security and a sense of control. When giving birth to a child, you need love and protection and, you may need help to maintain the peace and security that we want to give birth in. Having a doula with you when giving birth is a great help for both the woman and the partner. A doula’s task is to help the mother to have a positive birth experience by constantly feeling seen, safe, respected and listened to. And I do not think you can get too much of it during childbirth. So that’s my tip!
What do you want to say to new mothers and fathers?
– Do what you think is the best for your child and trust yourself. I wish I had been more secure from the beginning with making my own choices and not listening to much at what society says. The norm is not always what’s best for everyone. The best you can give your child is your love, time and security.
Having children can be challenging – do you have a life hack to share with other parents?
– The life hack that I try to challenge myself with every day is to, as often as I can, let go of what I’m doing and stop. Whether it’s from cooking, hurrying to preschool, answering a text message on the phone, fixing the counter or whatever it is that I “have to” do. Instead, sit down with Ingrid in my arms, meet her where she is, hug her and say I love her, ask her how she is, listen to something fun that happened during the day and take a few minutes in the middle of it all and pause, and take care of the most important thing I have, my child. It is the little things that matter the most.
Lovisa Rosell
31 years
Doula and birth/yoga teacher
Stockholm
A voice for women
Lovisa Rosell is the woman behind @doulaverket on Instagram. She is a rising voice on the Instagram scene and a professional doula. On her Instagram, she shares her thoughts about everything pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. We got the opportunity to ask her a few questions for our Luie Journal. Enjoy!
Tell us about yourself!
– I was born in a small town in Sweden. After high school, I moved to Stockholm, where I studied at Stockholm dance institute. After that, I became a dance therapist and then finally a doula, which I work as now. I’ve always been interested in how the body and our feelings are connected. In that way, I can see a connection between dancing and giving birth. They both are so much about wordless communication. I am 31 years old. I live in Stockholm with my boyfriend and our two kids Isak, four and Luna, two. I work as a doula and hold courses within giving birth and pregnancy yoga.
Why did you become a doula?
– I’ve been interested in pregnancy and giving birth since I was a little girl. I’ve always known that it is something I want to do. I took a little detour and studied dance, but in my final exam, I studied different physical processes in the body and managed to persuade an internship at the maternity hospital. There I was reminded of the intuition I had as a child – to work with everything around giving birth. A few months later I started studying to become a doula.
What is the best thing about being a doula?
– The best thing about being a doula is to be able to meet so many different people and to be able to follow and support them through their pregnancies. It’s not about me as a doula, but about their experience. I’m there when they need me. Sometimes it is enough that I am just in the room, and confirm and encourage what is already, and sometimes I am very hands-on and more concrete in my support, depending on the situation. It’s the women who show me the way. Every birth, I learn something. I strengthen what already exists. The woman who gives birth has the power within her. The people around her are there to remind her of just that.
Tell us about your Instagram platform!
– My head was full of thoughts and reflections that needed to come out somewhere, so I started this account to write both about my experiences as a doula but also about the experience of becoming a mother myself. On my Instagram, you can read about motherhood, breastfeeding, pregnancy and childbirth. I hope to empower women to make choices based on who they are. There is no right way to give birth or be a mother, we are different, and there need to be different alternatives.
Having children can be challenging – do you have a life hack to share with parents?
– Yes, it can be challenging. I grope my way out just like many others. Sometimes I have the strength and feel like a present mother and sometimes I have no patience at all. But my starting point is that children are capable, children want to feel needed and inclusive in the community. I try to let my children be involved as much as possible and they love to help with various daily chores. Small tasks adapted to their ability. Children grow out of trust. So my advice would be to give your children time, trust and love – then the rest will come by itself.
What do you want to say to new moms and dads?
– As parents, we get so much advice from the outside. How to be and do as a parent, what a child needs, etc. Eventually, we risk to lose ourselves and what we believe in. No one knows your child like you. Trust your intuition. Choose what advice you want to listen to. Try to see your child exactly as it is, without your wishes and ideas about what life with children would be like.
What do you think is the best thing about babywearing?
– As a new first-time mother, it was my salvation. I had a child who just wanted to be close. I was stuck on the couch until one day I had to borrow a sling. Since then, I have continued to carry both my children a lot. I think it’s smooth. It gives a feeling of freedom when you are away. It’s easy to breastfeed in when you are on the go. Plus the sling was where my kids wanted to sleep. Using slings has also been the easiest way for their dad to comfort and make the children fall asleep.
What does a perfect Sunday look like at your home?
– I am from a big family, I have six siblings, so I love when the house is full! A perfect Sunday would involve a big brunch with friends and kids that continues all day long.
Just outside of a medium-sized city in the middle of Sweden lives Johanna. A teacher, wife and mom who we got to ask a few questions about her lifestyle in general.
Johanna and her husband Per have two kids, Nanna and Knut. They live in an architectural house that they built themselves. On their spare time, they usually spend time in the woods or work on their garden which they are not very fond of, but hey, some things has to be done right?
Tell us about yourself, Johanna!
– I am 31 years old, and I’ve just started to work as a teacher again after being on parental leave for quite a long time. We had two kids very close to each other (only one year apart). I am currently working only 60% so I can have a lot of time home with the kids. I am married to my husband Per since four years back. Per works in Stockholm, but since covid-19 he is working a lot from home so now we are at home the whole family most of the time.
What does a regular day look like at your home?
– If we are both working, the kids are at pre-school until I pick them up in the afternoon. When we get home, most of the days a marathon of playing around in the house starts. Then we cook food, eat together, bath the kids, brush their teeth and then it’s time to sleep. On the days where I’m free, we are taking it easy in the morning with a slow breakfast. Then we play a bit inside the house before heading to the playground or the woods. If I am lucky, the kids want to take a nap at the same time before the afternoon-play-marathon-dinner-bath-night-routine starts again.
Tell us about your house!
– We live in an architectural house that we built our selves. The house is located a bit outside of town, close to the lake and the woods. We love living in our home and spend a lot of time there. We don’t have so many things interior-wise (except for a lot of toys). We like to keep it clean it gives us a sense of calm.
How would you describe your personal style?
– My style is quite simple. I usually dress in a white shirt and black pants. I am working on having a wardrobe that can last over time and where most of the clothes go well with each other. When I’m home, I wear something comfortable like tights and a cosy shirt. I’ve never understood people who wear jeans at home, haha.
Having kids can be challenging – do you have any life hack to share?
– My worst moments as a parent is when the clock starts to approach 5 pm, and it’s time to cook dinner. Two hungry, tired children are not easy to maintain! Here I think of two options – either letting them watch TV or let the children cook with me. When the conscience says no to TV, all that remains is to let them be involved in the cooking then one child gets a chair, a piece of cucumber and a plastic knife while the other child goes up in the ring sling. That trick works all the time.
Tell us about your experience with wearing your children in a ring sling!
– The best thing about the ring sling is to be able to get the children up quickly and easily. I have two children who like to cling to me like little monkeys, especially my little one has a need to be carried around. Then the sling is a perfect way to get some relief and I can use my arms a little better than when I carry him normally. In addition, it is fantastically cosy! Even my big 2.5-year-old wants to be carried in the sling sometimes, and it’s like we get closer to each other than when I carry her normally in some way, like when she was smaller.
Best Sunday activities?
– Whatever the kids feel like doing. Whenever they are satisfied, I’m happy. But if I’d say one thing it would probably be to go out in the woods and stay there the whole day!
